Making Wisdom Out of Wounds, Continued
by theypreferthetermpeople
Summary: An extension of b'shert's In Uncharted Waters, chapter 35 ("Making Wisdom Out of Wounds"). Stef and Lena have a moment of love after Stef's shower conversation with Callie.


_This story is intended to follow Chapter 35 of In Uncharted Waters by b'shert (_ _s/12195124/35/In-Uncharted-Waters). I don't claim credit for any of the AU circumstances. I just wanted to extend that bit into this lovely sweet little moment._

Stef gave goodnight kisses, smoothed covers, turned on night lights, cracked doors, brought glasses of water, and gave another round of kisses before she was finally able to climb into bed beside her wife, who was propping up on pillows reading. The long sigh Stef let out as she plopped onto the mattress got Lena's attention.

"Everybody all comfy?" Lena asked, looking over the top of her book.

"Yup," Stef affirmed, nodding once and then burrowing under the covers.

"Did everything go okay with doing Callie's nails?" She could tell there was something going on for Stef besides the usual end-of-day exhaustion, and she had a sneaking suspicion she knew exactly what it was. Sure enough, her wife sighed again, but nodded. Lena set her book aside and snuggled up against her partner's chest. "Talk to me, honey."

Stef pressed her lips together in a tense moment before blowing out another big breath. "I talked to her about the spanking."

"And?"

She shrugged. "And she understood. I mean, I apologized for not being more clear with her and for making her afraid. She had this bruise on her foot and she said she hit it on the bed frame that day trying to get away from me. It just hit me again how scared she was of me and how mad I am at myself for making my child feel that way. I never want our kids to be afraid of me."

"Hon, she knows you-" Lena began, but Stef cut her off.

"I know she knows deep down that we would never hurt her. But with her history, Lena, I just... I should've thought more. I didn't think."

"You were terrified," Lena comforted, rubbing a hand down her partner's bicep. "Of course you weren't thinking. You thought she had your gun. You were just trying to protect her, keep her safe."

"I know," Stef agreed, though privately she was somewhat astonished to hear her wife say these things. Lena had been aggressively against the decision to spank, feeling strongly that their pledge had always been to never use corporeal punishment. In the days following the incident, she'd given Stef something of a cold shoulder, determined to make her see that her way had been wrong. This support was almost unnerving, though she realized Lena hadn't said - and probably wouldn't say - that she approved of the spanking. She'd only said that all three of them, Stef, Lena, and Callie, too, knew that Stef loved Callie and would never hurt her.

"So what else did Cal say?" Lena prompted. It made sense that seeing the bruise on their daughter's foot had shaken Stef, since she'd already been beating herself up for the events of that day without knowing that Callie had gotten injured. But Stef had said Callie "understood" why she'd been spanked, and Lena wanted to hear more of that. Personally, she thought there was never a good reason to hit a child, ever, no matter how serious the infraction, but Stef knew she felt that way and there was no sense going down that road again.

Stef smiled, her eyes thinking about tears but not shedding any. "She told me about a time she pushed Jude down the stairs in a wooden crate."

"Was he okay?" Lena asked incredulously, utterly confused by the relationship between this story and the prior conversation. Stef laughed.

"He got a bump on the head and a chipped tooth, apparently. And she got a spanking from her mom, which is why she told me the story in the first place."

"Colleen hit them?"

"Not like that," Stef tried to explain. "A spanking, once in awhile, as a discipline tool-" She stopped short. This was a disagreement between herself and Lena that had nothing to do with Callie or her past, and there was no point getting into this conversation for the millionth time. Lena thought you should never lay a hand on your kid, Stef thought the occasional spanking could send a powerful message. End of story. "She said her mom wanted to remind her to think before she acted, to make better choices, to listen. She said-" Stef's voice got thick with the yawn that comes with suppressed tears. "She said, 'she wanted me to be a good person. Like you and Lena do.'" She smiled tightly, sniffing.

"Oh honey," Lena sighed, propping herself up on her elbow to look directly into her wife's eyes.

"She knows, Lena," Stef said shakily, the tears finally beginning to fall. "She knows how much we love her."

"Of course she does, love," Lena agreed, catching a teardrop on Stef's cheek. "You love hard," she reiterated. "We all love it about you."

"I love her so much, Lena," Stef managed, covering her mouth with her hand.

"I know, baby. She knows. And I love you." Lena leaned down and kissed her wife tenderly.

"I love you too."


End file.
